SUCK MY DUCK

SUCK MY DUCK

UP Prof. Randy David says he will contest the president’s rumored bid for a congressional seat in Pampanga. A published photo showed David on a Ducati motorbike- also known as the DUCK. Sadly, he was not wearing any helmet and Malacanang was quick to spot the traffic violation.

He’s got a ticket to ride?

oOo

Presidential son Mikey Arroyo immediately downplays the threat and belittles David, comparing the anticipated poll contest to that of the Biblical battle between King David and the giant Goliath who, as if none of us already knew, lost.

A Ducati is faster at full speed and definitely deadlier than a slingshot. But David should wear his helmet this time.

oOo

Commission on Human Rights chairperson Leila De Lima says they’re close to identifying the head of the dreaded Davao Death Squad (DDS). She adds there are indications pointing to the possible involvement of local government officials with the connivance of local uniformed officers in cases of summary killings.

No. She’s not running for mayor of Davao City. Trabaho lang.

oOo

House Speaker Prospero Nograles announces he will not call for an investigation into the operations of the DDS. He explains he doesn’t want to be accused of politicking. A wise move.

But he calls on the CHR, the Senate and the Ombudsman to conduct their probes.

Hands Off!?

oOo

International Red Cross Volunteer Eugenio Vagni was finally released after six months in captivity by the Abu Sayyaf. Poor Vagni suffered from HERNIA, which worsened his predicament. But now he has safely rejoined his family.

He was not in a LOSE-LOSE situation afterall.

oOo

Instead of paying ransom, government agents allegedly held the wives of Abu Sayyaf leaders for a gamble. An eye for an eye. A WIFE for a husband. A trick that worked in favor of Vagni.

What if the bandits were Christians? Still, don’t take the mother-in-law.

oOo

Political parties Lakas and Kampi have merged to form a new political party. Partido Lakas Kampi.

A.k.a. PALAKA

oOo

Erap’s Partido ng Masang Pilipino decided to join to form a much bigger party- Partido ng Masang Kampi sa Lakas.

A.k.a. PAMAKLA

oOo

The only way to effectively change the Constitution is to combine all modes of amending it- People’s Initiative, Con-Ass and Con-con.

PICON!

oOo

Reports claim the president had a breast implant. If so, I’m sure it wasn’t done by Dr. Vicky Belo who, if not for those sex videos involving her boyfriend Hayden, would have become Mrs. Vicky Kho. PGMA could never last a second under the knife of a surgeon named Vicky.

Sabagay, ibang Vicky ‘to!!!



oOo

There will be a new Cabinet revamp. So they say. With less than a year in office, PGMA’s men will surely cling to their current posts. No wonder if they, too, would embark on various projects. They’re not supposed to receive separation or retirement benefits after May 2010. They will have to scrape for whatever crumbs are left.

My advice: Borrow Randy David’s helmet, guys. Malamang mabukulan kayo!